An hour before my gyno appointment I started my period. I was a combination of excited and annoyed. Excited, because surely this meant I didn't have to go and would have to reschedule. And annoyed because it had only been 19 days since my last period and that is a short ass cycle and annoying as hell. Turns out when I called the dr. they were all "oh go ahead and come on in, it happens all the time, it's not big deal." Well fuck me. That was NOT what I wanted to hear. But I went and it was fine, although she spent a lot of time messing with my boob, and in my head I was like "whoa, at least buy me a drink or something, geez!". Thing is, the gland in my left boob, according to this doctor, is fairly large and dense and she went so far as to say that if her eyes were closed she would think these two boobs belonged to two different women, they felt so different. Well! Ok then! They feel the same to me, but I really only have experience feeling up my own self, not other women, so what do I know? They feel like my boobs to me. I was already going to need a mammogram due to my pretty substantial family history, in fact this will be my second one, but still, her comments did give me a pretty good panic attack for about a day. My sister was like, "girl, you are on your period, your boobs are different during that time." and I was happy for that little reminder. Because I'll be candid here, I started to kind of freak out. Not outwardly, but inside my brain I was taking the rabbit trail of "what if, what if, what if." I'm figuring if it was really worrisome to my doctor she would have made sure I had a mammogram right away. As it is, I still haven't gotten a call from the place to set up an appointment, so I think it's fine. Also, my husband called bullshit on the whole thing and said he thinks that dr. is smoking crack. (This was after he gave me his own exam and deemed my boobs perfect. ha!)
As for the short cycle, I did talk to her about that, and it's possible that it's the beginning of the long road called menopause. Oh joy! I kind of hope that's not true. In fact, I'd blamed the short cycles since having the baby, squarely on the baby. If there's shit wrong with my body now, my poor kid is getting blamed. Even though my doctor dismissed my notion that it was the babies fault. What the fuck does she know? Oh wait, a lot. She has lots of letters and shit after her name. Ok, fine. I'm getting old. Maybe everything is starting the slow decline. My sister warned me that right after she hit 40, all her lady parts went to hell in a hand basket. Gah. I do not look forward to that shit.
Which brings me to baby talk. I think we're going to try for another one. God help us. We know not what we do.
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