Working
on Christmas Eve is bullshit. Although, there is actually very little
working going on, but still, I had to get up and come in and that is
bullshit. Next year I'm saving enough vacation time to take Christmas
Eve AND the day after Christmas off.
Discussed at length:
That
TV channel that shows a bunch of people dancing around to religious
music all trance like. It's disturbing and fascinating and I'm glad to know that Mr. Florida and I aren't the only ones who stop on that channel and are mesmerized by the dancing Christian people.
Random:
This
is my last Christmas as a single person, next year I will buy Christmas
presents for my husband. Saying that makes me giggle like a geisha.
Random: The sequel
A
few years ago I set out to make more friends and widen my social circle
because sitting at The BFF's house wasn't going to move my life
forward, so I used myspace to branch out. To meet people I wouldn't
have otherwise, do things it wouldn't normally occur to me to do and
just experience life in a new way. And I did all of those things – and
had a blast doing it. But unfortunately I've never been one to
effectively maintain numerous close friendships and add to the mix that
some of these friendships aren't organic to my environment - we don't
run in the same circles, live in the same cities or even keep the same
work schedules – it makes things harder. There are relationships in my
life that have suffered because I was trying to be something I'm not: A
woman with a whole host of girlfriends.
A while back The BFF and I
were talking and while she loves the constant influx of people, the
large groups of friends, the energy of all those different
personalities, I don't. And she pointed out that this is just who I am.
Just like her preference for a plate full of friendships is simply who
she is. The second she said it, I knew she was right and I knew there
were relationships in my life that had been horribly neglected – one of
them being The BFF herself. I knew the feelings of constantly being
pulled in a million directions by a million different things surfaced
because I was trying to be more like her. The irony is she was trying
to figure out why she couldn't be satisfied with just a couple of close
friends – like me – and that's when she realized that this is just who
we are. She likes chaos and a billion different people moving around in
her life, and I'm … quieter than that. I always have been. Even growing
up there were many times where my sister was the only friend I had and
it never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with that.
I
didn't mean for this to get all serious and introspective, it's just
lately I've been forced to really look at some things, to recalibrate
my external life to reflect a more accurate version of who I am. To
look at the relationships that are important to me and dedicate the
time and energy to them they deserve. It's a little early for New Years
Resolutions but I think in 2009 I'm going to work on being a better
friend.